I’m not sure why I bothered to sign up for MySpace. My manager assured me that it would be good for my career, but that was a long time ago, way back when it was okay to call the President a liar. I signed up too late, because MySpace just isn’t cool anymore. The idea behind my page was to introduce a new generation to my stand-up comedy, and help me develop a fan base. Instead it’s making people think I’m a sexual predator.

I get friend requests all the time now, from shirtless teenage boys who are into skateboarding, and old dudes, and I can tell right away, that it’s a cop. (I’m beginning to think there isn’t anybody really on MySpace anymore, just pedpophiles and cops.) Every police force in America has at least one or two full-time officers pretending to be teenagers, and trolling through MySpace at all hours of the day. They’re looking for depraved lonely men, longing to do something despicable, and arranging meet-ups at the mall. The next thing you know, they’re starring on “NBC Dateline: To Catch A Predator.”

Over the four years the NBC series was on the air “To Catch a Predator” host Chris Hansen made a lucrative career out of setting up old men with fictional teenagers. He also got a lot of those men arrested. Apparently, intent to contribute to the delinquency of a fictional teenager is a crime in many jurisdictions.

The show was cancelled in December 2008. I’m guessing the producers were finding it hard to trap perverts anymore. With so many cops on MySpace, and the teenagers moved on to other social networking sites, I would guess they were starting to get cops hooking up accidentally. I was always hoping to catch the episode where two cops at the mall suddenly realize they had spent the last month online, having cyber-sex with each other.

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